Heavy heart. @ Tuesday, December 6, 2011, 9:11 AM

I've completed my HoCos and ComDi so I'm kind of slacking. Haven't been posting and ranting so I think I should.

Life is boring and tough. I'm suffering so much 'cause my bank is decreasing at a pathetic speed. It's torturing me mentally. I can't help but start to blame. It's nobody's fault (probably?) that I'm not getting allowances. Someone tell me, how the hell can a poly student survive without allowances? But I can't tell my mum straight in her face when I see how troubled she always felt sitting at her little corner in her room. I know she's suffering too. She's in her 50s already yet she haven't enjoy life and shake leg like a tai tai. I envy people who have the opportunity to go on a family trip together 'cause it'll never happen to my family. I'm either stoning at home or trying hard to find a job. Sometimes I felt so useless that I'm still a student and I can't help anyone. I wished I was working already and giving my mum some money. I don't like the fact that I have to rely on my sister financially all the time. I don't like the fact that how shopping can lighten my spirits. I can't believe that my tear ducts are secreting at this moment.

Even though life's much better now compared to last time, I can't help to complain. Sorry dad/mum/sis/brothers.

Maybe I should just marry some fucking rich ass in future. Heavy heart.

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